I listen to a lot of podcasts and read blog posts about motherhood and parenting. I come across two themes of advice that are useful yet seem in conflict with each other. So, we've come to terms with the fact that we have very limited "free time" during the day. Our baby will not take a 2 hour nap twice a day. So we need to forget about what the mothers we know with sleepers are doing and tackle the day with a strategy that suits our season.My baby likes to fiddle with my Apple Watch while they sit on my lap, using my arm for support as they can’t sit up on their own yet. This leads to unintentional workout starting, timer setting, and sometimes getting into the Things Watch app.The baby product scene is wild. There is so much stuff you are told you need to buy and it is all so expensive.If one more person tells me I need to time block, I'm gonna scream.We’ve just got back from a 4 day stay at Sea World Resort (Australia). The amount of planning, effort and money required to do a holiday with a toddler and a baby is so immense I often wonder pre-holiday if going on a trip is even worth it.My word for the year in 2021 is self. Self is a loaded word because people can take it to mean “self-absorbed” or “selfish”, so I first hesitated to choose it.My firstborn spent months in the first year of their life only taking 30 minute naps, while attached to me. After trying every strategy and suggestion to get them to sleep longer or alone, and driving myself to the brink of insanity in doing so, I knew that something had to change.My productivity doesn’t determine my worth.I can’t review 2020 without first acknowledging the immense amount of privilege I have benefitted from, in this year that has been challenging for so many. I am experiencing the postpartum/newborn experience for the second time. Things feel different this time around.