138: Most of what you know about attachment is probably wrong.
This podcast blew my mind! Jen Lumanlan breaks down the context around and limitations of the studies that crafted the ideas behind attachment parenting theory.
As someone who took great interest in the science around parenting babies, I of course came across attachment theory. The things I learnt about attachment theory had me second guessing the amount of time I’d leave my babies in the care of others.
Lately I’ve been unpacking the ways I’ve been sucked in to intensive mothering ideology, so this podcast was timely for me. It is also a reminder not to take the science around child rearing at face value, but to take note of how culture influences the scientists who create the theories.
After a few years of doing this mothering gig, I realise that reading all the parenting articles, listening to all the parenting podcasts and bringing my high-achiever personality in to parenting has set me up for a lot of discontent and feeling like I’m not meeting the impossible mark that our culture defines as the “Good Mother”. Even though I consciously recognise the need to let go and embrace “Good Enough” mothering, ingrained habits and mental scripts die hard. I really appreciate the work of Jen Lumanlan for reminding me that the stakes are not as high as I tell myself they are.