A note from Rach Smith's digital garden

I'm 35 - reflections, plans and wishes

Added: August 9, 2021

Tags: wellbeing

I turned 35 on Wednesday. For whatever reason, half-decade birthdays have always felt like a significant milestone to me.

Looking back

I remember when I turned 30; I had some ideas about where I wanted to be when I was 35: living and working on the Sunshine Coast, own a house and a dog, and have 2 kids. 

Although it feels gross to write or say out loud, if I’m being honest with you and myself, I’ll admit I have received and achieved everything I wanted and more.

Although I have worked hard for the last 5 years, I’ve also been the recipient of bucket loads of good fortune, on top of the everyday privileges I benefit from.

The birthday prompt to look back like this couldn’t have come at a better time. Parenting a baby and a toddler can feel relentless, and especially so in the middle of a lockdown, in the middle of an ongoing pandemic. I can get caught up in a story of everything being so hard, everyone having so many needs, and feeling so bloody tired all the time.

But then I remember: “I wanted this. I got everything I wanted!” I let that perspective sink in and I feel a little more grateful and a lot lighter.

Looking forward

Coming up with a vision for 40 is a little tricky. 25 to 30 involved suddenly losing my mum to cancer, leaving Australia, travelling the world, building my dream career, and marrying the love of my life. 30 to 35 involved moving home from the USA, buying a house near the beach, adopting a Staffy and growing and giving birth to two entire humans. These were huge, often exciting and perspective-shaking changes.

I love my house and where I live. I love my job. It goes without saying I love my little family and our little family life. I’m enjoying working on my fitness after 2 pregnancies and hope to continue with that. We do a great job of managing our finances and working towards Financial Independence, so I want to continue with that. When I think about what I want in the next 5 years, it is basically “more of the same”. Is it good to feel so content? Or is that a little boring?

Although I don’t actually believe I can make things manifest by simply requesting them from the universe. I do think writing what you want has some sort of effect on your subconscious efforts to attain those outcomes. So just for fun, here is a list for 40.

I want:

  • a relationship with my kids based on connection, and for them to be enjoying their childhood. 

  • to be fit enough to keep up with my eldest - who is big, strong, incredibly energetic and loves to move.

  • my best friend, who has been battling with cancer in recent years, to be here with us and living her best life.

  • CodePen to be so successful that my bosses can retire, or at least not work nearly as hard as they have been lately.

  • to be more involved in my local community, most likely through the school community my kids go to.

  • to be going out to dinner and drinks with my husband again!

  • to take our kids to Disneyland in LA.

  • this pandemic and all the heartache caused by Covid-19 to be a distant memory.

  • to go on a little weekend away with my college girlfriends, all expenses paid, by me.

  • to own an electric car.

Some of these wishes I have zero control over, some a little. It will be interesting to check in at 40 and see how many have come to be. In fact, I just thought of another one:

  • to still be writing on my blog.


Comments powered by Talkyard.